Posted by: Asmodeus | May 7, 2008

When A Mormon Comes A Calling

Yesterday, my doorbell rang its mournful tune – I think it plays the “Funeral March” now – and when I answered there was a lone woman carrying a Bible staring at me with fear and trembling. She handed me a Jehovah Witness Awake magazine and read a page from her Bible, standing at a distance as if she were conducting an exorcism.

Now, perhaps it was my imposing appearance (I stand out in a crowd). Perhaps I invoke fear in others. Maybe she just sensed that I wanted to throw away her Bible and teach her the many merits of hedonism myself. No matter the reasoning, this woman was clearly terrified.

Usually the Jehovah Witnesses and Mormons do their converting rounds in pairs, but I noticed that, unlike the Mormon’s (The Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints folk) who travel in male pairs, the Jehovah folk are generally female. Was she afraid of me as a lone female out in the country, or was it religious fear?

Years ago I used to invite these people in to my home to have a lively debate over their way of thinking, until they stopped coming. I found out later that one of them had confessed to a relative that my debates had her seriously questioning her faith. I felt good about that.

Is “door to door religion” going the way of the old soapbox preachers, almost gone but still hanging on for dear life? Even though I don’t agree with them, or the concept of converting the “unwashed” (shouldn’t that have died out hundreds of years ago?), I think I would miss my debates with them. They are well trained drones and I enjoy poking a hole in their bubble now and then.

In a day and age when we clearly NEED more tolerance and understanding for society and it’s views, these people have no call to impose their religion on others. While I respect their right to think as they do, I think door to door religious solicitations should be banned altogether. We all have different points of view and I don’t want anyone telling me how I should think.

The woman at my door could sense this. She didn’t bother trying to waste my precious time (and all our time is truly precious). She just read her required Bible quote and scampered away. Perhaps it wasn’t fear she felt. Maybe it was curiousity. Maybe she went home to prepare. After all, the last thing I said to her as she hurried along was “there’s a religious war a comin’!”. Poor girl doesn’t stand a chance…



  1. I must agree with your blog… I don’t really mind them knocking on my door, but we actually had one here that would NOT go away and when we finally went to close the door she stuck her foot in it so it would not close!!! If you’re spreading the word of your church thats all fine and dandy, But there is a fine line and most people have crossed it long ago…

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